What Does Your Art Mean?

I had an epiphany the other morning.

In the shower.

Naturally.

Doesn't MOST wisdom come to us when we're in the shower? Seriously. Showers are like portals to the invisible realms of the universe that hold all the answers we've ever been seeking.

So anyway.

What came to me was this nice neat compact little phrase to answer this question:

"Tell me about your art, what does it mean?"

(work in progress, Self Portrait)

You'll notice on many artists' websites or resumes a nice compact Artist's Statement which summarizes said artist's philosophy on art. Why they do it. What they are trying to say with their work. The context in which it fits into the larger art world.

Me? 

I've been making it up as I go along. I really have had no idea.

I paint fearlessly.

I take risks.

I have no idea what the outcome will be.

Voila.

(work in progress, untitled)

Sure, those are okay, but they didn't feel complete to me. A beginning, but not the whole picture.

More like I've been muttering under my breathe, barely a whisper, blah blah blah... let's just look at the painting, shall we, and stop talking about it. I'm an ARTIST right? Not a writer. Okay? Sheesh.

Heee.....

Yet all of the sudden, in the shower, comes this statement, which is EXACTLY what my art is all about:

*I am making the unconscious conscious.*

And I'm SURE that you get it, right?

Well, you may not. But me? OMG. YES!!

THIS is what I'm doing! THIS is what my art is ALL about!

(work in progress, Self Portrait II)

If I've confused you, here, Carl Jung explains it this way:

First a popular quote:

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, 

it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

And a more classic definition:

In his work, he described both the collective unconscious and the personal unconscious. "...in addition to our immediate consciousness, which is of a thoroughly personal nature and which we believe to be the only empirical psyche, there exists a second psychic system of a collective, universal, and impersonal nature which is identical in all individuals. This collective unconscious does not develop individually but is inherited. It consists of pre-existent forms, the archetypes, which can only become conscious secondarily and which give definite form to certain psychic contents."

Have I lost you?

Basically this is what I'm trying to say:

You've got your personal unknown depths that are waiting to be discovered by you, or even if you've started digging around already, there's always plenty more. And there is also a vast unseen region that ALL of us can plug into and explore, and it's the same box we're all searching in. Though of course, we may experience and interpret what we find in that box in very different ways.

So what the heck does that have to do with my art again?

When I paint, I tap into both my personal and the collective unconscious. What shows up on the canvas is coming from there. I do not sit down before I paint with certain ideas or images that I want to recreate. I let the painting emerge, little by little, in a spiraling motion, abstract to concrete, back to abstract to concrete again, round and round until the "final" image is brought to light.

I am bringing into the world something that has never existed before. I am creating something brand new. I am sharing with you my experience of traveling through the lands of both my personal and the collective unconscious. You will have your own personal experience when you see my paintings. It could be a small sliver of recognition, a huge AHA kind of moment, or complete indifference. No one will experience it in exactly the same way.

It's quite similar to a shaman's journey. But I'll save THAT for another post.

And why am I telling you this?

Because I finally CAN! 

I finally have words to explain exactly what it is I do when I paint.

(work in progress, Tell Our Story)

THIS is what my art means.

It's a HUGE moment for me.

Thanks for sharing it with me!

Shifting Focus - Or Grasping at Whatever Works

Sometimes amongst the swirling goodness of life for some reason the not-so-feel-good-blues manage to take over. 

Overwhelm. Stuckness. Blah.

Kinda sucks.

Your friends can remind you of all the fabulous things in your life. Your family can tell you they love you. Your really good friend can tell you to "knock that shit off - do not forget that you are awesome."

Yet still. That murkiness still lingers.

And all the pep talks and positive thinking messages wash over you. They sink like the proverbial lead balloon. Because really? When you're in that kind of space? All that encouragement and good vibes talk? Not so helpful. More mocking than anything else. Go away is all you want to say. Or something more colorful and sailor-ish ... which you don't (though boy it would be fun).

But when you least expect it, one of those feel-good threads weaves its way under your skin. And dammit. You want to invite some of that in. Cuz feeling like crap? It gets old.

So taking a cue from this lovely soul, I'm taking a little moment to be grateful.

Here's just a taste of what I love about my life:

A fabulous kick-off to the month. My art. In public places.

A moment to honor an ending. Which of course also means new beginnings...

A fun road trip with a sister in search of wine. The sweets were an added bonus!

An adventurous buddy who always makes me laugh.

Creativity that keeps on showing up, despite my struggles with it at times.

A gorgeous spring day, beautiful green lunch spot, and fun socks.

Work that taps into my creativity, but also one that spreads a message that so needs to be heard.

Remembering to love always, and if I forget, it shows up in the strangest of places as a reminder.

Yummy lunch and sharing our stories, with a sister.

Serious selfie. Sharing the hard times helps send them on their way.

A self-portrait of a different kind. Revealing different things than a photo might.

A day of work that involved this view of spring.

And once more, this funny, imaginative boy who makes me laugh again and again, even when I don't want to.

Questioning Joy

Sometimes I start a painting with an intention. It can be just a feeling. Or a thought. Sometimes I even paint the word or phrase on the canvas before I get started. And by the end of the first session that intention is already buried deep under several layers of paint. Many times I don't even remember what the intention was, unless I happen to remember to take a photo of it.

But my latest painting? I don't know where this word came from. I was having a particularly hard day. Well, to be honest, a hard week. Swimming in victim mode, wondering why "life" wasn't easier.

Slippery territory.

So you can imagine my surprise when this word appeared on my canvas:

It felt a bit like I was being mocked. Or challenged is perhaps a better word. I was being dared to find the joy in my life.

I wasn't really buying it.

But I kept painting.

And what happened next is what really surprised me. The word stayed front and center the whole time I worked. It stayed there over several days worth of painting. I was sure that eventually I would get to the point where it was time to start covering it up. For some reason having such a literal image on the canvas didn't seem right.

Yet it stayed.

And stayed.

I stepped away from the painting for several days wondering what that was all about. Well, and that I've been pretty busy and so didn't have TIME to paint, also helped.

I've mentioned "the voices" before, the ones that tend to guide me at key points recently (if I shut up long enough to LISTEN).

Well there they were again, saying, "Leave it." YOU need this message. And someone else for SURE needs it. Just let it be.

So this weekend, since I will be April's Featured Artist of the Month, I've been contemplating which paintings to add to the ones already at the gallery . 

(What? I didn't mention that here yet? Well.... I AM!!!! Wahooo!!!! Come out and celebrate with me Saturday, April 6th, during April's Art Trek, 4:00-7:00pm, I'll be at the Sutter Creek Gallery!)

Anyway. Ahem. (heeee!)

In trying to decide which paintings to pack up, I wasn't so sure the Joy painting was one that was done. That it was ready to go. You know, maybe just maybe, it still needed more layers, and possibly covering up that word. 

The voices, LOUD and CLEAR, "Someone else besides YOU also needs to have this in their life - it goes with - no questions."

I'm all about listening these days.

So here it is, Joy, and it'll be front and center at the gallery all month. Hopefully MANY people will see it, and it will seep into their life some way, subliminally, if not directly.

 

Hope joy is finding you these days, even when you're resisting it.

BIG News! Dreams Coming True!

I've had several reminders already this year that the best path ~ for me anyway ~ is to stop being busy with doing, and to start paying attention. To LISTEN for a change. And that means listening to my soul, to my heart. Noticing the details that are carrying me forward towards what I love.

It may sound sparkly and woo woo, but in fact, I am starting to feel that this approach is actually working!

Especially in regards to my ART.

Late last year and at the beginning of this new one, I kept running into someone I know in my community that is a successful and established artist. I'd see her name some place. I'd pass her on the highway. Someone would bring up her name in a conversation. A group email in my inbox had her name a few times. I'd meet her on the way into a store, she on her way out. This after not really thinking of her or seeing her for quite some time.

And the whole time, this little voice kept saying, "Why don't you call her?" I wanted to start off the year with really moving my art out into the world. I had a vague action plan. A list of To-Do's was starting to form. The intent behind all of it was to SHARE my art with the WORLD. (Or at least start somewhere...) Hanging out and chatting with her about how she first got started in the art world was something that made sense to do.

Of course I got awfully sick there for a while too. The nasty nasty that so many people I know near and far had - the one that knocked them down for a couple weeks minimum. But during that time, on the couch not able to DO anything ... THAT voice? It was so very clearly saying "STOP the madness! No more to do lists, no more action plans. Just BE. Relax. Have fun. Just PAINT for crying out loud."

Oh. Well fine.

I'm learning to listen to that inner voice. ("She hears voices... cuckoo...!" Sure, say what you will, whatever, it's working!)

So I heeded the call and I spent a lovely morning drinking green tea with my artist friend. It was wonderful to catch up and to absorb the magnificent creativity oozing out of every inch of her studio. From our conversation, and on a lark, she walked me down the street to a relatively new co-operative gallery and we had a look around.

Yet it was hardly my first time there. A good friend of my mom's already had her work there. Someone I've known since I was about four years old! And she happened to be there that very day.

As we walked around the gallery, my artist friend was urging me to be part of it. 

"What? Me? Here? Ha."

So here is where I freeze. Fear grips my throat. I am literally stuttering to get out my question. "Are you accepting other artists into the co-op?"

Well, guess what?

They were!

And guess what else?

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!!!!!

I am now an official member of the Sutter Creek Gallery!

And I will be there this Sunday.

Sutter Creek Gallery

35 Main Street, Sutter Creek

10:00am-5:00pm

Come by and say hello!

So I'm going to keep on listening. 

It seems to be leading me to where my lists would never have gone on their own!

Sisterhood

Our third year in a row.

Gathering. Laughing, sharing, crying...

Oh, and smashing the front bumper of my car into a curb and needing to call a tow truck.

You know, shit happens. 

But it was far, far, far outweighed by the magic of Sisters gathering.

I wanted this so badly in my life a few years ago. You can read all about how I got inspired to go out and create it here.

If you are craving it? 

Go for it. Build it and they will come. 

Guaranteed!

And you know what else? After three years, it just keeps getting better and better. 

Slowing Down, Despite Myself

Feeling better these days, succumbed to the nasty viral thing going round, not quite the flu, definitely a cold, couch bound, hanging out with my son who also caught the nasty thing.

And, granted, the view from my couch is quite inspiring, a little other worldly. Perfect medicine.

 Art by Brad Devereaux. Artist Extraordinaire.

But in the nastiness (it's still lingering, two weeks later...) I also was forced to slow down. To come to a complete stand still.

I had been poised - to start off this year - with a busy, get-down-and-dirty to-do list too.

Ha. 

Nope.

And that was the point.

Stop you silly girl.

Put away the to-do list.

It's not like that anymore.

It's time to start listening to you heart, not filling your days with busy-ness thinking you *know* what it takes to get where you want to go. Your brain? It only sees part of the picture. Your heart? Sees the grand view. Why not trust it? Why not listen really well? Why not?

"Because... but... I don't know... I need SOMETHING to do, right? THIS is how it's DONE. Right?"

Oh Fear. You are so much fun.

So. 

Sigh.

This is a repeat lesson for me. It's not new. One that comes up again and again. Trying to get through my stubborn thick skull. But I'm finally listening, and that's new. 

AMAZING things happen when I stop trying to PLAN every little bit of my path/life. When I slow down enough to hear my heart's quiet encouragement, I end up in some pretty spectacular places. Of course, places I would NEVER have included in that plan in the first place.

Maybe, just maybe, this will be the year to really get it. To finally hear.

I'm going to give it a try.

Here's me. Feeling almost human again. Hanging out. Not doing. Just listening.

My most favorite sunglasses EVER. Someone called them cat-eyes on steroids. LOVE that.

Still Winter

Every year - since I started paying attention - we have what I like to call a January Spring. The nights may still be cold but the days are sunny and clear and can warm up to almost 70. And it's a trick. Because it is not spring yet. It feels like it... but more cold weather is still to come. 

Each year, even though I "know" it's still winter, I want to get busy... take on this, take on that, plan here, plan there, schedule stuff, get it done! ... and then I am reminded, no, it is still winter. SLOW DOWN. Not yet!

This week it is my son getting some nasty bug that is going around to help me remember. We are on day three of the cold, but day two of staying home from school. Usually he's a perpetual motion machine. To see him curled up on the couch asleep during bright daylight hours tells me how badly he's feeling. Poor bug. If I end up with it, well then that will be a further reminder: STOP with the leaping forward into plans! Fine. I'm listening.

(Side note: Why do I feel guilty for missing work? Like somehow I am an irresponsible person that is abusing the system? Seriously? I know I am not alone in this. THERE is a story that must change.)

So I've been busy here carting the kleenex box around, fetching water, giving hugs, and tending to my little guy. What this is doing is slowing me down from completely revamping my website. I would like to offer a way to buy my art directly from the site, which includes adding prints of the originals to the mix. Which means I need good quality photos of my art. Lots to do! 

But I am hindered from doing this myself because 1. I have a phone camera and not a fancy DSLR. and 2. Even if the phone camera was okay, it's so gosh darned bright this week I can't get a good photo of my art because of the glare in every room of my house. 

Such a problem, I know.

I ended up giving into the energy of the week and letting it all just be. Forget the great photos. That will have to wait until another time. Or they will have to be taken by someone else.

For now, here is the latest painting. WAY too dark. But the colors are accurate compared to other versions that were brighter and washed out. The detail below gives an even better idea of the colors.

Acrylic on Canvas, 16" x 20"

 

Close-up detail.

It's all good. I'm learning a lot about light. And colors. And paying attention to quality.

I'm also drinking lots of tea. And painting. And repainting. And having a little tiff with one of my paintings. Interesting dance. Will share more about that later.

Stay well my friends! And if you end up not well, use it as a chance to slow down. 

It's still winter.

PS: You can read what I have to say about staying sane during the winter months over here, where I was honored to be a guest last week.