Thursday, December 30, 2010

A few years ago, I was turned on to the idea of having a *word* for the year. A word to set intention, to be mindful of what I'd like from life, or where I'm at in life at least. A guide post to give me a place to return to when I feel adrift. Not sure which way to go.

Last year my word was
Surrender. My intent was to surrender needing to know exactly where I was going. To stop planning everything. To release my brain from figuring it all out. I wanted to listen to my heart. I wanted to come from a place of feeling, rather than thinking. Because it was something new for me. I have been a goal-setter and planner my whole adult life. That talent has taken me to some pretty groovin' places, but there have been times when I let my head lead and I knew I missed out on something spectacular because I didn't listen to my heart. I wrote a little more about it here. I also realized half-way through the year how easy it is to forget what your word of the year is!
And I can say, looking back at 2010, I did listen to my heart, and some pretty big things happened.

So, my word for 2011. Well, this year it seems I have two words.

The first ~


This word ~ Soar ~ has so many layers for me. Following on the footsteps of 2010, if I can let go and believe and trust my heart, I will be lifted up by invisible currents. Supported and held in a loving embrace. This feels so right. To continue on with my quest to not have it all figured out. And by listening to my heart, I will reach new heights, soaring high, effortlessly, with new vistas.

The second word ~ which actually kinda came first ~ but I tried to *over-think* it (grin) was ~


I received this beautiful piece of art/card in the mail from a dear
BIG Sister. She's amazing. She knew it was my word too. I love that. Thank you Lisa! Even though I wasn't so sure. But I took it to be an affirmation that, yes indeed, it's my word this year too.

And so instead of trying to choose just one. I embraced both. By having fun this year, by letting go of being so seriously on my quest all the time, by PLAYING, I will SOAR.

Pretty fabulous.

What's your word for the year? Do you have more than one? Maybe you have 5?

However many you have, embrace your year, set you intention, and share it with me!

Happy New Year to you all!



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Solstice!

Winter Solstice is my absolute favorite celebration of the year. It's a day that signifies the start of winter. It's the longest night of the year. Days that had been getting shorter, now begin to grow longer.

I'm not sure exactly what it is about it, but I just love it. I don't have any special traditions or rituals that I do every year. I don't have any unique decorations or recipes. And I don't even necessarily celebrate it with anyone but my family.

Every year is a little different. Some years my son and I have made pine cone bird feeders smothered in peanut butter and bird seed. Other years I light a candle, representing the return of longer days. Sometimes my husband and son and I take a moment to share all that we're grateful for this past year. One year I even invited friends around and we did all of the above. That was a special year I'll always treasure.

But usually, if nothing else, it is a time of year for me to reflect on all that I've learned, and to honor the challenges I faced, and the strides I've made. I also take a moment to set intentions for the new year, and hold a vision of what I'd like to see happen in the coming year.

This year, for something a little different, I've been having a whole bunch of fun with the 2011 Goddess Workbook. It is such a beautifully created guide book to your coming year. And Goddess Leonie's website if just full of scruptious tidbits and resources, go visit!

One of the activities is to come up with some mottos for yourself for the year. I've been loving this, and got all carried away and creative with mine. I mean really, don't we all need some personal cheerleading to support us on our adventures in life?

I'm sharing mine below. Enjoy!

One for my blog and all that it represents for me on my life's path...


One reminding me of the possibilities:


One to remind me that this moment, each and every moment, is what it's REALLY all about:


One to help me remember, I am enough, just as I am:


And of course, why else would you bother with any of it unless it was FUN!


How are you expressing yourself these days? Would love to hear about it and see the results too! Won't you share them in the comments below?

Here's to the returning of the Light, and also to the Light that shines deeply within us all.

Have a lovely Solstice!

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I am so thrilled and honored to be a guest blogger today over at Dirty Footprints Studio!!

Thank you Connie, this is just so fun!

You can check out my thoughts on being Fearless, just click HERE!


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Wishcasting

I believe that our thoughts become things, that we can shape our own reality. But you know, it doesn't happen overnight, it takes time to manifest what we really want. And it's easy to lose faith in the lag time, the time it takes for things to shift.

But I keep on believing!

This week, for the first time, I'm playing along with
Jamie Ridler's Wishcasting Wednesday. I have done this before, in my journal, privately. But there is more power in saying it out loud.

So here goes.


What do you wish to transform?


Today, I wish to transform the way I spend my time financially supporting me and my family. I wish to transform my *work* life. I wish to transform my LIFE!



There!

Thank you thank you thank you!

Friday, December 3, 2010

All the Necessary Steps

It's December. The end of the calendar year. The days of darkness, awaiting the return of the light at Winter Solstice.

I find it's a perfect time to reflect back on all I've done this year. All that I've accomplished. All that I've struggled with. Because both the successes and the challenges are necessary. Each step is taking me closer to who I am meant to be. Sometimes it's shedding old ways and habits. Other times it's trying on new bits and pieces to see what fits. Mostly though, it's letting shine through that which is already there. Waiting patiently, until I'm ready to embrace all that is me, ready to bring out into this world my one true self.

Here are some of the bigger steps I've taken this year ~

* dared to
Dream Very Big with these fabulous people

* learned to embrace my Inner Artist who's been in hiding since 7th grade

* started
Art Journaling ~ nothing but goodness by doing this!

* let go of feeling left out of a group which no longer fit, which was an old feeling anyway

*
played and danced in a city I've always wanted to go to, and danced my heart out with some fabulous women

* followed my heart, my intuition, my small guiding voice and made
a very difficult decision

* started a new blog (you're reading it now!)

* had an art piece in an art show in Athens! (see pics of it here
)

* really embraced my Inner Artist and went Fearless, painting really
BIG

* connected even deeper with a soul
Sister, a friendship that I am just so incredibly grateful for

* experienced a complete meltdown over what marriage means, learning to allow it to be all it needs to be, and watched it grow even stronger

* discovered my life's purpose (
a wee little thing...)

* realized that knowing my life purpose does not mean I now know how to go about making it happen

* opened once again to the idea of moving away from
this cabin out of the snow, and trusting that it most likely will happen in a way I can't predict or control

* honored the part of me that is a
Creative Rainbow Mama while letting go of not being a different kind of mother, at last

* decided it's definitely time to make some serious changes next year so I can do what I love all the time!


And what about you? Take some time this month, if you haven't already, to honor all the things you've done this year, both rewarding and hard, both joyful and challenging.

Give yourself some love for wherever you're at right at this moment in time, it's right where you're supposed to be!

So glad to be here with you!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

So Much Gratitude

After a day spent with loving friends, delicious food, warmth and connection, I am so grateful for the beauty of my life.

Cold Weather and its friend Snow came quite early this year. It presents not a few challenges where we live, but it is also a wonderful reminder to stay present and take each moment, one at a time.


Today, I am grateful for ~


This View:



This home:



This wild, loving Spirit:



This loving, supportive Man:



This creative, adventurous Life:


Thank you to all of you, sharing this journey with me, for your gifts, friendship and connection.

So glad to be creating with you!






Tuesday, November 16, 2010

6 Years

Six years ago today I walked through a doorway I didn't think I would ever experience.
I felt my heart expand so big I thought it would burst.

I had to let go of everything I ever thought I had control of.

I was given the best gift of my life.


I cannot believe that my heart has been able to keep up and expand further and further.

I had no idea that I could love someone this much.


You are strong.
Passionate. Have an imagination that soars so high!
Wild. Loving. Stubborn. Silly.
Thoughtful. Picky.
A sense of humor that makes me laugh til my sides ache!

You teach me to believe in magic. To know patience.
To see the world with new eyes. To live life out loud.

I love your kisses and your hugs.

I love each moment we have together.

I love you Ian!

Happy Birthday to my favorite red head. Six years and strong!



Friday, November 12, 2010

Enlightenment Through Fun…


Pursuing your life’s purpose, discovering your dreams, expressing your soul’s desire ~ all of this is often seen as serious work. Meditating, searching, growing, stretching … whew.

A fabulous
artrist/blogger that I just adore included a funny joke and silly Grover (from Sesame Street) video in her first newsletter, and it reminded me of how fun pursuing your life’s dream can be! I also realized, that hey, I’m doing a lot of fun things already in my life, but there’s always room for more.

So as I head off to Disneyland with my family today (seriously, who’s more excited, me or my son?) here's a list of things I do to make my journey a little more fun. Feel free to share your own ideas in the comments below, I’d love some new silly fun inspiration!

~~~~

~wear fun socks
{toe socks are exceptionally fun!}

~color your hair
{this can be with bright bold colors or just stripes of “regular” hair colors that you normally wouldn’t try}

~tickle someone who’s not expecting it
{careful of course with this one, probably better if you already know them!}

~swing on a swing for your meditation stint for the day
{instead of sitting on the floor with your legs crossed}

~wear glitter

~buy bubbles, blow them on unsuspecting folks

~turn the music up

~dance in your living room

~sing in the shower
{right, how many people actually do this? try it!}

~buy a coloring book and crayons, color
{do NOT stay in the lines}

~play ding dong ditch
{but leave little gifts like flowers or candy when you do it}

~invite a friend along, the more the merrier!


Have a super fun weekend friends!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Heart's Desire



here's what i'm yearning for...



a warm embrace. full of love. laughter. creative juices flowing. tenderness. encouragement. vulnerability. release. connection. letting walls slowly dissolve and melt away. trust. &.
fabulous juju.

are you with me?

it's time, finally, to get moving on this weekend away idea.

4 days. 3 nights.

on the coast. in winter.

good food. great conversation. quiteness. exploring the inner & the outer. simply being.
perhaps some wildness too?

i need to know how many of you are interested.

expressyoursoul (at) gmail (dot) com

let's get ourselves some well-deserved *we* time.

can't wait to hear from you!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Randomness



I started a *routine* for myself of writing my blog on Fridays. It's been going swimmingly well.

Until today.

"Ruh rho Shaggy..." It's Friday. I don't have anything to write about. Oh dear.

So just to keep the practice going, and get the creativity flowing, I am treating this blog as a free-flow, stream of consciousness writing exercise.

Here's a little recap of this week ~

* i started a 30 day follow your bliss thing, today is day 5, so far so good, making sure the little details are seen to on a daily basis, such as incense, music, giggles, taking the time to stay a bit longer at the cafe to chat & connect with the owner, creating loveliness by making little handmade tabs for my new organizer, painting and decorating little hearts that will be anonymous give-aways to random strangers or friends, noticing the sun, looking up at the stars...

* battling the guilt about needing this one morning a week to myself rather than helping out at my son's classroom halloween party

* loving this time of year

* finding acceptance of where i'm at *career-wise* and noticing positive results

* dragging my feet and getting the studio cleaned out and *done*
(for obvious emotional reasons)

* so excited about my new organizer, i took a year off from being super-organized, it's been fun, relaxing, and also chaotic, so finding a new way to be that is in balance is the idea for the coming year

* fascinated by the vastness of this universe

* feeling a little melancholy, realizing it's been a social week, and i miss my down-time, my me-time, my quiet-go-within-time

* amazed that i have a piece of my art in an art show in Athens!

* grateful for the goodness that is my life


Here's to going with the flow!

Happy: Autumn, Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, Samhain, Harvest, Celtic New Year or whatever it is you celebrate this time of year... it sure is festive, isn't it?

Blessings on the journey!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Full Moon Dream Board

It's Full Moon time!

Inspired so much by Jamie Ridler!

"On October’s New Moon, I invited you to allow yourself to dream of luxuries, those delights that sometimes your inner censor might cut before they even make it to the board. Luxury doesn’t mean it’s something expensive or out of reach, just that it’s something beyond what you require, something extra, something that is simply about the delight of it. Is that what you’ve been gathering as we’ve journeyed towards this Full Harvest Moon?"

Learn more about Dream Boards
here.

Here's mine for this month.


Create your own, see what happens!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

So This Is How It Feels

I have been experiencing a pretty amazing awakening up here in the foothills the past month or so. Quietly, without a lot of fan fare, and in more like a *no duh* moment, I realized my life’s purpose.

Whoa.

But it wasn’t the kind of huge sing it from the rooftops, blast it on the internet, call Oprah, and tell every single person I know kind of revealing. Which surprised me. I think I’ve been searching for what feels to be most of my adult life, so surely, when I finally GOT IT*, everything would come to a screeching halt, fireworks would explode, the world would stop turning on its axis and Hollywood would call. And, surprise, none of that happened.

*Aside: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do think each and every one of us does have a life's purpose or calling; every. single. one. of. us.


To be honest, and also much to my surprise, I haven’t wanted any of that anyway. To have discovered this precious gem ~ one that has been buried deep within for so long, patiently waiting for me to be ready ~ has been a very tender process indeed. Instead, I feel like I need to get to know this part of myself before I’m ready to parade it around it front of others. I want to nurture this new being-ness, try it on, walk about the house a bit, share it with some sisters as tentative first steps, and little by little, expand and fill up this space that is truly me.

I think perhaps I feel so protective of what I am finally hearing because it is not one common to our modern society. It’s not something you’ll see in the classifieds section, or on TV (although, not having watched TV in a long time, I may need to research that, maybe it is on TV now, maybe it's already been a reality show?). And being a more or less private person, I tend to keep things to myself anyway. It’s just my nature.

So, I’m not quite ready to name it yet, or explain it in any way. After all, that’s what comes next, right? Because what also surprised me, is that even though I’ve discovered the what, the how is still a mystery. Oh. Wow. You mean, no fairy tale ending? Turns out there is more to the story than:

“...and once she discovered her life’s purpose, she lived happily ever after. The End.”

Ha ha! What a revelation that was!

So, no big outward changes over here. But TONS of inner reflection. A few colorful art journal pages. And not a little excitement about what the future holds.

Thanks for holding the space, and sharing this small but oh so giant reveal with me.

Glowing from within, smiling brightly, and peaceful at last.

Blessings on your journey…

tracy


Friday, October 15, 2010

Looking Back, Looking Ahead, But Really Trying to Stay Present


This week was my last week of teaching belly dance classes. One of the more difficult decisions I've made in my life, to stop doing something that is so much fun. But I knew it was time for a change. And although I'll still be dancing, the teaching part has come to an end (for now, she says with a grin). So, it's time to be still.

But, I'm a very much a goal-oriented person. I have no trouble finding new tasks, new challenges and new adventures to fill my life. That's how I get myself in trouble too. Over-committing myself to lots of very exciting projects. I finally ~ after all these years ~ realize that the quiet time, the time in-between, is valuable too. And necessary. One can't always be breathing out, life requires some in-breaths as well.

So I am challenging myself to just be for a while, without racing towards the next thing. And it will be a challenge, something that doesn't seem to come naturally to me. Perhaps you can all help me remember when you see me plotting and planning some new course?

And in being present, I am reflecting on where I am at this point in my life. Taking a look at some insights gleaned from the past few years of teaching. Here's what I've learned:

  • I am surrounded by beautiful women in my community

  • Being bold encourages others to be bold too

  • Teaching what you need to learn is a huge part of teaching

  • I can't wait until I'm the perfect weight to start something

  • Moments of insecurity are actually chances for growth

  • Taking time for oneself is just as important as giving to others

  • Not everyone needs what I have to offer

  • Music and dance are magical ways of staying in the present

  • Ants usually have great lessons to teach you when they invade your space

  • Being flexible is highly recommended

  • Laughter is key

  • Trying something is the only way to find out if it's a good fit for you

  • Not everything you try will fit, but how else will you know?

  • Holding your head high, shoulders back, rib cage raised makes you look like a goddess, until you truly feel like one

  • Listening to your intuition is vital

  • Trusting your intuition is even more important

  • Everyone can use a little jingle in their walk

  • Shimmying is therapeutic

  • Mirrors are not reality, pick the one that reflects you best, and move forward from there
I have been blessed these past few years. I hold them deeply in my heart. Thank you to each and every one of you beautiful dancers.

Friday, October 8, 2010

On Being Seen

I am in week 6 of 6 of an online class called BIG. It has sped by at warp speed, yet reflecting back to that first day, that first assignment ... it seems ages ago.

I have come a very long way in such a short amount of time.

So what is BIG? Well, it's a painting class. And it's not. Yes, you paint. And you paint on large, rather BIG surfaces, which in and of itself is quite a challenge (especially if you live in tiny cabin in the woods with sloped ceilings). But, oh, it is so much more.

It is about the process, and most definitely not about the end product. In that respect it differs from traditional art classes, where the purpose is to paint a picture and then hang it up for the rest of the class to critique the hell out of it. No, blessedly, this class is about putting yourself down on the paper, through paint, and sharing what that experience is about. The painting itself is reflection of that process. It is not about ending up with a pretty painting to hang behind your couch. (Although there were some pretty damn good paintings that came out of this group, let me tell you!)

And, this class is about FEAR. About taking a look at it, noticing it in your life, reflecting on where it pops up the most, and when it roars the loudest.


Yet mostly, for me, it was about listening. Really listening. Asking my inner critic to hush long enough to finally hear what my heart is searching for. Suggesting ever so kindly that she leave the room for a bit so that I can enjoy the creative process. Sometimes it meant locking her up in the closet, mouth taped, hands tied behind her back so I could finally learn that I do know what I want to do in this life. That I do have something to share.
That I am enough.


I've read many many times in my ever-searching, navel-gazing adulthood that our intuition, our inner guiding voice, our deep-knowing self has the answers that we seek. If only we'd listen. Okay, that's fine. But how the hell do you do that? Well, finally, I experienced it! And it blew my socks off. Or, as one of my fellow painters in the class says, it rocked my pop-tarts (I love pop-tarts, in all their badness, so I really love this saying, thanks Amanda!).

Through painting, through art, through creativity, I am able to hear that voice. And there's no going back now!

But, there's also one more vital component of BIG that alone is worth the price of the course.

And that is the gift of being seen.

I have never been in such a supportive, loving, safe and fun place ever before! The women I have met in this class are amazing. The space that Connie, the teacher, has created is incredible! In this place what you are creating, what you are feeling, what you are fearing, all of it, is held with the utmost tenderness. The swirling energy of sisterly love lifts you up just when you need it most. And if all of that sounds too gushy-mushy for you, please, you might want to reconsider. All that gooey love actually feels pretty damn good! Trust me.


So yes, I am suggesting you sign up for BIG. The next round starts October 24th.

You can find all the juicy loveliness of it right here: BIG.

Keep creating my friends!


Friday, October 1, 2010

How Radical Can You Get?


I love hanging out with my son. He and I have so much fun together. I love his imagination. His wild and free spirit. I want to be him when I grow up. It's true.

And there are times, too many says my inner critic, when I don't want to be his "mom." I just want to be his friend. You know, laugh and giggle and build legos and argue over who has the best monster face. I want to let someone else tell him it's time to brush his teeth, to finish chewing before he tells a story, to come and sit back down and finish his homework, or to please, please, please, get dressed so we can go.

At those times I'd rather be the one in life that gives him permission to be himself, to love creating, to nurture his imagination, to feel loved, and to know he can do ANYTHING! I want to paint BIG on the floor of our kitchen together. I want to lay on the deck at night and share stories about the stars. I want to mix and stir and bake and eat glorious amounts of muffins.

And I see time whiz past so incredibly fast. He was so small sooooo long ago. He is in school now. And I see these moments passing by. Feeling lost forever. And it makes me sad even as I absolutely love the bigger boy he is growing into.

But I know that I am also his mama. And it is up to me to make sure he eats his veggies, and gets to school on time, and is safe at the store not running into people at top speed. I do have a responsibility to be that one (along with his papa too).

Yet I work away from home. I also have that responsibility. And that doesn't leave a lot of time for many of the things I mentioned above. And really, that is the thread of where this is going.

So I can't help but question. Why does school have to start so early? Why does our society insist on work that takes us away from our families for so many hours a day? Why do we put up with an education system that insists on quantity over quality? Why do we spend so many hours working hard yet still feeling that we aren't getting anywhere? And the whoppers: Why do we let clocks and calendars rule our lives? (For an example of that just think of our crazy day light savings time in this country).
Why don't we all just say ENOUGH?!

I know there are people that do question these systems in place. You might call them, oh, let's say, homeschoolers. Or hippies. Or, depending on your perspective ~ Socialist Freaks! (Tee hee!)

You see, actually, I am one of these people too. (Not news to many of you.) I say in my heart ENOUGH. But in reality I keep going. I question, but I don't stop. Because you know what? It's hard to reject the very fabric of reality that loving folks around you take for granted and actually like (or say they like it or are too afraid to admit they don't or don't even realize they don't like it or haven't shared with you that they don't like it or don't dare let you question it because, well, that's scary).

So I'm taking this moment right here, right now. I have had ENOUGH. I want the world to change. I want this life to change. I want it for us all, not just for me and my family. I want us all to question clocks and calendars even. Yes, RADICALLY CHANGE, did I mention that part? Radically.

I want the pursuit of happiness to actually mean something. I want to live in a world where we actually pursue happiness over earning a living. Can you imagine anything so radical as that? Can you imagine doing that which feeds your soul every day?

But that means there have to be a lot of us questioning what's happening now. Not just a few. So I'm looking for a whole lotta souls out there to join me. Can we change the world? Yes. I think so. I know so. All we have to do is question the one we're in. Oh, and have a vision of where we'd like to be.

What's your vision?

Please share it with me! Let's inspire each other to make some real change. Our children deserve it. And so do we.

Friday, September 24, 2010

A Nugget of Gold

Last night, as an early birthday present for my husband, we went and saw Garrison Keillor. My husband loves Garrison Keillor. He has the same dry humor, the same wit. They are both very inspiring and funny men. What a joy to spend it with them both.

I have so many thoughts and perspectives on the evening, but one thing struck deep and it's what I carried away with me on our long drive back from the city.

The way that Mr. Keillor weaves his stories together is pure magic. You know there is a thread holding it all together but it often becomes thin, or all together invisible at times. Then suddenly, there it is, the thread reappears and the sweet ironies of life are displayed with such love and tenderness and humor. He is amazing.

One of his stories was about going to New York City for the first time. And oh how I want to capture the essence of this story, but there is no way I can do it here. It is so complex, so deeply entwined with other stories that came before and that would come after.

But even though I can't replicate the entire experience, I want to share this part. A women he met there shared this nugget of wisdom with him. It was a gift to him that sent him in the direction he most needed to go, that would embark him on the path he was most destined to travel.

She told him, I am of course summarizing here, that he is not afraid of New York City, it is not where he belongs. No, he is afraid of something entirely different. He is afraid of his people, his family, the place where he grew up, Minnesota, of being one of them, afraid of being just like them. And he must write about what he is afraid of. He must go back there. To his home. And write about his Fear. This is what he must do.

Write about his Fear.

This is powerful juicy stuff folks. THIS is what we all must do. Whether we write, paint, sculpt, dance, or sing, we must take a look at our Fear. We must answer to it. We must face it. We must go towards it. This is where our power resides. This is where our magic lies.

If you wonder, what do I possibly have to say, what does my soul really need to express? And you are searching for an answer, clues to who you are. This is what you must do, this is what we all must do, move toward our Fear. Write it. Paint it. Sing it.

You will find yourself there.

And please please remember. You are not alone in facing this fear. You have a tribe of folks here in this place. Share your journey. Share your travels with your Fear. We all need to hear your story. We all need to TELL our stories. We all need to do this together. Together we can face our Fear. We can find our power. We can make magic happen.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Celebration

Today, was a day for celebration.

For it had the most important things.

Family.
(photo by Ian!)


Fun.

Gifts of Abundance.


Love.


And Chocolate Cake.


Loving my life.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Endings and Beginnings

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
Seneca. Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD



How do you know when it’s time for an ending? Do you make a list of pros and cons for letting it go? Or should it be the opposite focus, a list of pros and cons for keeping it going? Can you solicit the opinions of others to help you? Do you journal about it? How about tarot cards? How do you KNOW?

What I have found is that I have to still my mind, quiet the thoughts, and listen. Others’ feedback is useful, but can block out the inner voice that is trying to help me understand how I really feel. Because it is about feeling. Not thinking. It’s about paying attention to how our body actually feels when we face a choice of letting something go.

When considering ending something, does your body feel lighter? Or when, conversely, continuing it do you feel a tightness in your stomach or chest? These are signs. We are wiser than we know. Our body can guide us. If we just listen.

I have reached a crossroads in my life. I have been spending a lot of time listening to that inner voice. A voice that is deep down inside, one that I can trust, if I just open myself to its wisdom. Paying attention to my body, hearing what it is telling me.

And the answer I got is a bit scary. It’s probably not what my mind would have chosen. Because my mind would listen to the opinions of others, perhaps giving them more weight than my own. Because my mind would worry about taking care of others first, myself later, if at all. Because my mind would be very practical. Because my mind might not consider my heart.

But it’s my heart that I must heed.

And so, after a lot of listening, and trust, and making a choice despite the fear that comes up, I have decided to stop teaching belly dance classes. It is time.

And not a choice I made quickly or easily.

But I feel in my body, that the end has come.

Saying good-bye is bittersweet. It is saying good-bye to a routine, to friends, to a creative space, to part of myself. But it is also making room for something new that needs expression in my life. It is saying hello to another part of me, one who has been waiting patiently in the background all these years. One who will not let me forget, or ignore, or neglect her any longer.

Teaching belly dance classes and owning my own business has empowered me. It has given me a voice. It has gifted me with confidence. Joy. A community of women. Connection. It has given my creativity a name and expression. It has helped me soar!

Now though, it’s time for ART. This is where my heart is. This is what has been waiting since I can remember. It has been waiting for me to discover this part of myself that is confident, empowered, joyful, and creative. Belly dance has gotten me here. To this place. And it is still a part of me. But it will be joined by a new part of me. Like peeling an onion, finding the new layers, I am revealing the core of who I am meant to be.

Thank you to each and every woman who I have danced with the past 3 years ~ thank you for your grace, your patience, your laughter, your friendship, your frustration with learning for through it I learned as well, your joy from pushing beyond the boundaries, your sisterhood, your boldness, and your spirit.

Blessings on the journey, and don’t forget to shimmy along the way!
tracy


PS ~ If you're here, you've found my new home, my new expression. Welcome! I'd love to see you here, in this new place, drop me a line at this address: expressyoursoul (at) gmail (dot) com. Or leave a comment below. Look forward to connecting with you in a new way!
Also, Kundalini Belly Dance Tribe will continue dancing! You can check out our latest performance schedule at http://www.kundalindance.com/. Our next event is October 17th at Sierra Ridge Winery at the Arts Extravaganza, a fundraiser to keep the arts in schools, come on out and support a great cause!

Friday, September 10, 2010

A Pause

I am interupting this regularly scheduled life filled to the brim with doing and moving forward for a much needed break.

I am going to play this weekend. I am so excited!
We are going to one of my favorite places.

There is so much I love about this city. But these days, it brings me so much joy to share it with my son. Our life in the mountains has so much to offer, but the occasional sojourn into the city gives him so much delight. Ever since he was a wee little one he's loved skyscrapers. And trains. And highways. None of which we have where we live. From my perspective that is a-okay. Because we can visit them all the same. For him, it is an Adventure with a capital letter A.

And for me too!

And very important, I am gifting myself a break from all my yearnings and dreams and wanting to grow. Those longings will still be here when I return. But I am ready to Be instead of Do. And really, what if I could do that more often? Because in each moment, if I am being who I truly am meant to be, those longings and desires will find expression in those moments.

If I trust. If I let go. If I breathe.

What can you do this weekend to pause, to breathe, to Be. Can your trust and let go? What if you take a break from moving towards your goals, from making your dreams come true, from yearning towards the future you? Try it, see what happens! Let me know how it goes, can't wait to hear from you.

Here's to Being.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Choices


It's been a whirldwind kind of life around our home this past month. I can't believe it's Septemeber already.

So what's been going on? My husband started a new job that he absolutely loves (much gratitude to the universe for such abundance). My son started kindergarten. Kindergarten! Where did the time go? I participated in an intensive
dance retreat in Oregon to kick off the month then started a new round of my own classes here. Oh, and have I mentioned BIG?

Getting used to the new schedules, ealier bedtimes, and added places to be on top of already established daily routines has left me pretty exhausted. And here is where I start to wonder, does it have to be this way? Can life be slower? Or, can I be in the moment with whatever is going on even if it's not slow? Do I have the choice to make it less crazy? What are my options?

I do have a choice. But I also have this thing called Fear. That if I don't keep moving forward toward my dreams they will never come true. If I don't work hard, push myself, and do more, things won't get done. And then I will be stuck where I'm at forever. Which I don't want. That darn old Fear makes me lose faith. Faith in my dreams and faith in myself.

What to do?

So, I'm learning to embrace that Fear. Make friends with it. Understand that I have something to learn from it. And as a result I am slowly learning that all my dreams will come true. I can relax. I can take my time. I can believe. And I most certainly don't have to do it all RIGHT NOW.

And even bigger? That some things in my life, things that don't fit anymore, will have to go. It seems to be the theme these days, quite a few other wonderful women who I admire are shedding, purging, clearing. Making room for what no longer fits. And it's time I do the same. On so many levels. Naturally, more Fear shows up. But I know deep down, I need to do this anyway. Despite the Fear.

So, I am taking a deep breath.
I am taking a deep look at my life.
I am believing in myself and my dreams.
I am letting go.

Here I go!

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Welcome!

Welcome!

This is my new adventure.

So honored to have you here.

Make yourself a cup of tea, take some time to explore what's here. Drop me a line if you feel like it.

Are you ready to Express Your Soul? Are you already doing it?
Share your story with me.

The more the merrier.

Here we go!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Okay Folks.
I haven't been here much since I started this page. Well, I've visited quite often actually. But I haven't been posting. What keeps me from going for it?
Fear.
Fear of being all I am meant to be. Fear of success.
Fear of being BIG!
So.
Time for some action!
I'm starting this awesome class 6-week e-course on Sunday.
Guess what it's called?

How perfect is that?!
I CAN NOT WAIT!
This is just the beginning folks!
I am so excited!
I am ready to embrace my fear, give a BIG fat hug, and FLY!!!
I'll be posting updates here. Come back often and see how I'm doing!

Thanks for sharing the journey with me!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

a *D*R*E*A*M* unfolding

As I create this space, this place, this gathering spot, this dream, I am realizing there are two parts to it (oh, I'm sure there's more than that, but for now, two). This blog is an invitation to gather 'round women who already, or who are almost ready, or who really want to but don't quite know how to Express their Soul's Desire. It is a call for a tribe to form. A place that has been waiting until each one of us is ready. A fun, comfortable, safe, loving coming together of like-hearted souls.

It is also a place that will be offering ways in which to express, discover, or explore more deeply that soul's desire. There will be tools, workshops, retreats, classes, round robins, and well, a whole lot more that I can't even imagine yet! A smorgasbord of great creative expression!

I am so excited!

If you have found your way here, it might be curiosity. It might be synchronicity. It might be something much more.



Drop me a line, introduce yourself, say hello ~
expressyoursoul (at) gmail (dot) com

Can't wait to meet you!

Friday, July 16, 2010

A Calling


It was almost a year ago that I came across several blogs describing a group of friends who had just gathered together for 4 days so celebrate creativity, sisterhood, connection, and to share laughter, tears and stories.

And I knew, I wanted that. How do I get that for myself? Where does one find something like that?

And now, nearly a year later, after many thoughts, much yearning, some research, a big chunk of bravery, and a whole lot of trust, I know. I must create it.

"Create what you most need to find."

So, as those same women gather again this very weekend, I am launching this blog, this idea, this endeavor.

I feel called. It's that powerful.

And to be honest, I'm not completely sure what this calling looks like. But I am hoping that by creating this blog, this space, the women who are meant to join me on this journey will find me here, will find what they too are looking for too.

So come back often, this space will slowly emerge into something beautiful, into what it is supposed to be, into what I most need to find.

Join me if you feel called too.

So glad to be on this journey with you!

In Honor of ...

A place...
In honor of our Soul
Our Heart's Desire
Our Inner Voice
Our True Purpose
A Journey of Becoming
Of Awakening
Of Believing
Joy
Play
Connection
Discovery
Creativity
Expression
Love
In Gratitude
To the Divinity within each of us
To Divine Mystery!