Thursday, October 21, 2010

So This Is How It Feels

I have been experiencing a pretty amazing awakening up here in the foothills the past month or so. Quietly, without a lot of fan fare, and in more like a *no duh* moment, I realized my life’s purpose.

Whoa.

But it wasn’t the kind of huge sing it from the rooftops, blast it on the internet, call Oprah, and tell every single person I know kind of revealing. Which surprised me. I think I’ve been searching for what feels to be most of my adult life, so surely, when I finally GOT IT*, everything would come to a screeching halt, fireworks would explode, the world would stop turning on its axis and Hollywood would call. And, surprise, none of that happened.

*Aside: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do think each and every one of us does have a life's purpose or calling; every. single. one. of. us.


To be honest, and also much to my surprise, I haven’t wanted any of that anyway. To have discovered this precious gem ~ one that has been buried deep within for so long, patiently waiting for me to be ready ~ has been a very tender process indeed. Instead, I feel like I need to get to know this part of myself before I’m ready to parade it around it front of others. I want to nurture this new being-ness, try it on, walk about the house a bit, share it with some sisters as tentative first steps, and little by little, expand and fill up this space that is truly me.

I think perhaps I feel so protective of what I am finally hearing because it is not one common to our modern society. It’s not something you’ll see in the classifieds section, or on TV (although, not having watched TV in a long time, I may need to research that, maybe it is on TV now, maybe it's already been a reality show?). And being a more or less private person, I tend to keep things to myself anyway. It’s just my nature.

So, I’m not quite ready to name it yet, or explain it in any way. After all, that’s what comes next, right? Because what also surprised me, is that even though I’ve discovered the what, the how is still a mystery. Oh. Wow. You mean, no fairy tale ending? Turns out there is more to the story than:

“...and once she discovered her life’s purpose, she lived happily ever after. The End.”

Ha ha! What a revelation that was!

So, no big outward changes over here. But TONS of inner reflection. A few colorful art journal pages. And not a little excitement about what the future holds.

Thanks for holding the space, and sharing this small but oh so giant reveal with me.

Glowing from within, smiling brightly, and peaceful at last.

Blessings on your journey…

tracy


2 comments:

  1. Wow, Tracy! What a beautiful blog! And yes, yes, yes -- I agree with you: I do believe we all have a life purpose! And I totally understand that it isn't something you want to announce from the rooftops, the specifics of it. Yes, I understand too -- the what, but not the how! But I do "get" enough of the feel, texture, being-ness of mine to just let it guide my footsteps, one forward movement at a time -- as I'm sure you are doing. Hugs to you, and a virtual dance in your honor :-)! You've crossed the river, dear! ~ Jane

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  2. Ah ha! Soooooooo happy that you are seeing and feeling and being with your purpose! I love that you are holding it closely right now and savoring it. It's no coincidence that you just completed BIG and now you have your BIG purpose! love you

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