Do you ever come across something, and it speaks SO loudly to you? So loud that you can't ignore it even for a second? It speaks so loud, from some deep down place, that you MUST have this in your life? You must pursue this dream, you cannot NOT have it?
Well, this happened to me two summers ago. I saw this post. And I knew, I just KNEW, I wanted this. And I dreamed about it. I waited for someone to create it. I hoped it would somehow find me.
And I waited... a whole year went by.
Then there was another post by the same group of lovely women. And the desire was louder, stronger... WAKE UP it said. You need this. But stop waiting, go, CREATE this!
What? Create it? Me? Well. Okay. I took a deep breathe and I put it out into the universe here.
And I dreamed some more, and I journaled about it, and I took a REALLY deep breathe and shared the idea with two friends. And they didn't tell me I was crazy. Imagine that. They said yes, go for it, and that they'd like to be part of it. Wow.
So I started planning, little by little, bits and pieces. And then got braver and put it out again into the world here.
But I was still scared. What if no one else wanted to come and play and be part of this dream? What if my inner critic pounced on me so hard that I was out for the count before I even began?
Those things didn't happen. Imagine that. Instead, my friends responded, their friends responded, and at one point I had more friends than space available... but things have a way of working out just right.
If you trust.
And let me tell you, trust was a huge part of this dream. HUGE!
So, from dream to reality. I have not quite landed back on Earth yet. It was a beautiful, surreal, magical weekend. I am truly blessed.
Thank you, to each of you, my Sisters, for such loveliness. Such wonderful, soul-filled Love and Connection.
So much love. So much gratitude.
Here's to believing in your dreams, being scared and moving towards them anyway.
A wonderful artist I know through my Deep on-line class has a wonderful ritual over on her blog, Inner Voices, it's called Gratitude Friday. What a beautiful way to appreciate the goodness of life, no matter what form it takes ~ seemingly horrible or amazingly blissful. All of it is what makes us who we are.
Today, this Friday, I am grateful for the gorgeous circle of sisters in my painting tribe over at Deep. As well as the gorgeous circle of sisters convening on the coast later this month.
I am grateful for the LOVE in this world, of this world and that is this world.
I am grateful for my Dreams and the ability to make them real.
I am grateful to be here, in this life at this moment.
It wasn't until I became a mother that I realized I am someone who ADORES her alone time. Night on the town or staying home to read/create/hunker down? No contest. Totally the introvert me.
I've known for a long time that I was pretty comfortable with my own company, not needing a busy social life or doing things with a group. In high school I committed the ultimate sacrilege and often went to the mall by myself. Many of my girlfriends did this as a group activity, they couldn't understand why I'd want to do this alone. Crazy renegade!
Because there is sometimes this misperception, that needing time alone means you are shunning the people around you. Or that you don't care about them. Not the case at all.
I learned once that extroverts recharge their batteries by being with others. While introverts recharge their batteries by being alone. I'm so all over that. Introvert all the way.
But no, it was not until I was married and had a child that I realized I actually NEEDED that time to do things alone. Like, for my very survival. Seriously.
So, these days, living with my small family in a very small cabin and working outside the home, time alone is rare indeed. Adjusting has been, well, let's say, tricky. My son and husband might use a different word.
And to add even more to this already crowded equation, I've recently been tapping into my creative artistic self and I have found that I create best in a very quiet place. Needing to hear my inner voice without any distractions. To find the stillness within (which fuels the outward expression of my creativity), I prefer silence. Okay, sometimes with music. But definitely no talking.
How the heck does one do that? That has been my burning question.
Through Deep, the online class I'm taking, I finally got a glimpse of what the answer might be.
And it kinda blew me away.
One of our exercises was to last 30 minutes, completely uninterrupted. Oh, right. I figured I'd have to do it after 10:00pm, when everyone was asleep and I was exhausted and actually kinda too tired to paint.
Instead, I approached this exercise with my Devotion for this course ~ LOVE. And that meant loving myself and not waiting until 10:00 at night. It also meant that I was going to do this with my son home with me on a school holiday. And so I also approached it with LOVE for him and his needs, knowing he's only 6, expecting him to not need me for 30 minutes straight would be asking a bit much (and nigh impossible!). But with LOVE I also sat down and explained to him what I was doing, what I needed, and what I would like from him. Emergency interruptions only. Since I was approaching this with LOVE though, and not my usual place of "lack of time" and "frustration in trying to find space for myself," I could allow for brief interruptions if need be.
I also knew that I wanted to be in the moment. To not worry about "finishing" the painting. To just be one with the brush. To take my time and not hurry just because there was a timer.
So, intention set!
How'd it go?
Oh my gosh. It went great!
Of course my son interrupted, one emergency was not being able to find his new Lego fire truck. To a 6 year old, that is a 5-alarm fire emergency. So each time he needed something, I reminded him what I was doing, and probably much to his surprise as much as my own, he was able to problem solve all by himself! He found the fire truck, and other things, without my help.
What I discovered is that by coming from a place of LOVE and not frustration, wow, duh, I got LOVE back! He'd come over and whisper... "I like your painting mama."
And my inner voice, the creative flow? They didn't go away! I was able to stop, and then go back and continue. I was able to go into and out of it and woo-hoo it kept flowing! It felt so right!
The best thing was how FAST the time went, and not out of "lack" of time, but because I was so in the flow and into the listening and painting itself.
Totally present in painting, totally present in helping my son, totally present in feeling the LOVE!
OK! This ROCKED!
Now, to bring this LOVE, this approach through LOVE into every. moment. of. my. life.
I can do it!
The moral of this story?
Well, I still love having my alone time, that I will say, but, there are alternatives, and all it took was a new approach. A new way of problem solving. A new way of looking at the world.
With LOVE as my lens, the world is looking rosy indeed.