Saturday, September 24, 2011

Giving Love

Remember these?

They were the first part of the Love Revolution.

And finally, a little delayed due to a busy summer, but finally, the next part is here!

Love is being given again, this time in the way of these:

Little tokens of Love being sent for each heart necklace bought.

For each little heart hanging out at Twiga.

(and a few extra for good measure)

Love over and over and over. Again and again.

Never stopping.

Thank you to each of you that sent your Love, that bought a necklace, that contributed in some way, in any way.

Let's keep this Love Revolution going!

Choose Love.

PS. Necklaces still available, just send me a message!

Donations directly to Twiga gladly accepted! Go here.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Believe

...every once in a while, someone will tell you their truest story–their secret–and if you have the strength and courage to hold it in complete stillness, you will find your heart expanding into a kind of love you have never known possible. Jen Lemen

I believe in life.
I believe in death.
I believe in life after death.
I believe in Spirit.

I believe there is much more here in this world than meets the eye.

I believe we are Souls on a mission.

I believe that each and every one of us has stories to reveal, gifts to share, discoveries to be made.

I believe we are not alone. In our despair, in our longings, in our hope.

I believe in miracles.

I believe that this world, this place we call home, is only one of the thousands of stomping grounds in the universe, but it's a crucial one at this point in time.

I believe Mother Earth is a living, sentient being evolving right along with us on this crazy journey called life.

I believe that we all have layers upon layers of forgetting. Forgetting who we are, what our gifts are, why we are here. But that those layers, as they are peeled away, reveal the most magnificent kernel of love and truth there ever was.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Reasons we may not understand.

I believe in angels, aliens, ghosts, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, God, Goddess, White Buffalo Calf Woman, Spirit, Divinity.

I believe all of them are within us, are us.

I believe in a great divine Mystery that created all of this, and to understand that Mystery, to dissect it, figure it out, name it, to claim it as belonging to one group over another, or to truly know it, is not the point.

I believe in creativity. That we are creations of this Mystery, and we are here to create.

No matter what we create, labeling it good or bad also misses the point.
When we are creating, we are in tune with that great Mystery.
We are divinity.

It is not outside of us.

It is every cell of our body. Every star in the sky. Every emotion, thought or idea that ever was.

Time is also just one of these creations. No more, no less.

There is so much freedom in that. And responsibility.

I believe that deep down we know all of this.
And that our challenge is to remember it.

To peel away those layers.

To reveal the beauty within.

To reveal Love.

At the heart of all this, is Love.

I believe in Love.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Silver Lining

I don't know what was up with today. But I don't think it was one of the more stellar days in my life. It kinda sucked for no real tangible reason.

I am choosing to see the silver lining of my day (thank you Melissa from Oz).

Because I can.

And because it makes me feel better.

For example, on my first try I found the lid that matches the tupperware-like bowl that I had grabbed from the cupboard for leftovers.


I also have the most delicious loving husband ever.

The cat did not vomit on the bed today. Also very good.

I have a glass of wine in front of me (yes, it's after 5:00pm, in case you're wondering).

I can afford art supplies.

I do not live in a natural disaster area.
So much love to all those that are living in them, there have been a lot these past few years.

Our checks don't bounce.

I have a full tummy.

Yet still have room for the chocolate cake that is in the fridge.

I have no hang nails at the moment.

There are no sirens or bombs ripping through the night air.
There are however many, many crickets singing their song.

My co-workers are kind and compassionate people.

We have water.

I don't have to wear pantyhose ever again if I don't want to.

I have all my teeth.

To eat the chocolate cake.

So, you see? Even after a not so great day, there is still so much to be grateful for.

Choosing Love. It's what I do.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Sometimes, who we are, is not so easily seen.

We must give ourselves time to be still.
To listen.

To peel away the layers of who we thought we were.
Who our parents, teachers, and others told us we were.

If we are patient, we can catch glimpses of this true self.
Marveling in its beauty and imperfection.
Tending to it, with love.

When ready, we can shine this beautiful self out into the world.
One light, joining other lights, a star-filled night of beauty.

Friday, September 16, 2011

43 things

Today is my birthday. Happy Birthday to Me!
Time to update my list from 42 to 43.

And to polish it up a little bit for the new year.

1. I am 43 years old

2. Cat person (currently there are 3: PC, Caesar, and Misty)

3. Favorite time of year ~ Autumn

4. Virgo

5. Life Path ~ 22

6. I believe that dreams (the kind when we sleep) hold powerful magic

7. Not to mention the dreams we hold in our hearts while we're awake

8. Tattoos. Yes. 5 and counting

9. Introvert ~ love me my alone time for recharging the batteries

10. Mama to a fiery little red head

11. Painting & creating art is my meditation

12. Burbank, Santa Barbara, Tokyo, Plzen, San Francisco, Fiddletown, Amador City, Jackson, Sutter Creek, Volcano, Pine Grove, Pioneer (places I've lived, in that order)

13. USA, Mexico, Canada, Japan, India, Kenya, Tanzania, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Poland, Czech Rebuplic, Slovakia, the Ukraine, France, Austria, Germany, Belgium, England, Finland, Senegal, Spain (countries I've visited, in that order)

14. Various shades of brown hair and brown eyes that sometimes appear hazel

15. Tree-hugging Dirt-worshipper Shaman

16. Currently developing my 6th Sense (and beyond)

17. Happily In-LOVE Married

18. San Francisco ~ favorite city

19. Found my tribe

20. Covet an earthen, hand-made, hobbit-style art studio with big windows and a view of water surrounded by luscious smelling flowers and trees

21. Left-handed

22. Bear

23. Winter Solstice is my favorite *holiday*

24. Pleiades

25. Not vegetarian (it's the bacon)

26. LOVE to dance

27. Northern European Mutt (Dutch, English, German, Scot...)

28. Risk-Taker & Trail Blazer

29. One younger brother who is pretty damn cool

30. Brad Devereaux, favorite artist

31. Tea ~ Earl Grey with milk (no lemon)

32. Nag Champa

33. Believing is Seeing ~ what you see is not all that you get, wake up wake up wherever you are!

34. Red wine ~ Youngs (Shenandoah Valley, Amador County)

35. English, high school Spanish, Japanese and Czech

36. Perfect gift? Gift Certificate for Art Supplies (JUST in case you were wondering...)

37. Didn't feel sexy ever, until I took salsa lessons

38. Thoughts become things

39. Amber

40. The Ocean and the Wind bring me great peace

41. Galactic

42. Awaiting with great anticipation: Osadhi, the Sacriluscious Tour

43. Choose Love, always

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Reluctant Leader

I am a 22 life path and I am in a double 2 month.
It's been a doozy of a month so far, and we're not even half-way through it yet.

Oh goodness Tracy, er, Indigo, NOW what are you talking about?

Numerology baby. That's what I'm talking about.

Everyone has heard of astrology, which is based on how the stars were aligned when you were born and is also used to look at the energies of any given day or month or year, etc.

Numerology also applies to the date you were born, but also applies to numbers everywhere in our world ~ your address, your phone number, dates when certain events happen...

So if you're still here, everything in our Universe has energy. Everything. Including stars and planets, words, numbers and letters. And how you interpret all of this 'everything' is totally subjective. Totally and completely.

But one path of interpretation of this life is through numerology.

And at this moment, based on the date of my birth, I am in a 2 year, and September is a 2 month. Double 2.

Two is the number of cooperation, collaboration, intuition, feminine energy. Think, pair. As opposed to - for example - the number 1, which is about independence, action, leadership, and masculine energy (there is no good or bad by the way in this, it's all relevant).

The date of one's birth also adds up to a number that is your life path, the energy of what we are here to work through in this lifetime. Mine is a 22. It is one of the "master" numbers. Most folks have a number from 1-9. But there are those of us who have numbers that add up to 11, 22, or 33. Looked at from a slightly negative view, having one of these master numbers as your life path number, well, let's just say there might me a little more pressure to live up to it.

That's how I've been feeling anyway.

And that's the point of this post.

For much of my life, when given the chance to lead, I have done so reluctantly. I have not wanted to stand out, to be separate and apart from the crowd, I have wanted co-workers not employees, I have wanted teammates and to not be the coach. Much of this stems from a feeling of deep loneliness from not feeling like I fit in to any particular group. Feeling like the lone wolf.

Yet again and again, I found myself in a supervisor or manager position, or if I didn't see something where I lived that I was interested in, I would create it, lead it, make it happen.

But I have resisted these tendencies all the same.

Can't someone else lead? I'll just follow along. And those of you that know me or have seen or expereienced some of the things I've done in this life may be surprised to hear all of this.

I have been a reluctant leader. Never quite comfortable. Just wishing someone else would do it.

But, I am a 22.

And it's gentely whispering in my ear that I am here to do some major shit in this lifetime.

I've barely scratched the surface.

And so it is, ironically enough (love the ironic humor of this world) that in my double 2 month, when the energy is all about cooperation and collaboration, that I have realized that I need to be leading something. That I need to blaze a trail in a new direction.

And that I need to do this alone.

I need to honor my vision. And keep it intact. Not watering it down in order to fit in, to belong, or to be part of a group.

And this scares me.

And exhilerates me.

All at the same time.

So here's me. On the cusp of something bigger than I can imagine. Something that is pulling me towards it. Something HUGE. With only glimmers of what it might be. But knowing deep down that it's time. Time to lead. Time to blaze that trail.

Time to shake up the galaxy.


So here's to feeling scared and going for it anyway!

Here's to me, embracing my BIGNESS!


By the way, if you are interested in numerology, here are two excellent sites to get you started. ~ Sally Faubion, Numerologist ~ Creative Numerology by Christine Delorey

And if you ever want to talk numbers, let me know, I love this stuff!!

Friday, September 9, 2011

What's in a Name?

Indigo Moone Goddess
work in progress


So what's this all about, you ask?
(Or you haven't asked, because you are not part of the Facebook addiction.)

I changed my name on Facebook last week.

Indigo Carlton.

I did it for fun. I did it to try it on. I did it because, well, why the heck not?

Quite a few years ago I joined a monthly goddess circle, as I became more involved in it I needed to choose a circle name. I remember wanting my new name to "come to me," to be an intuitive thing, not a well thought out analyzed Virgo decision.

So I listened. I waited. I tried not to force it. Many names came and went during that process but none fit, none felt right.

But, much to my surprise, being patient actually worked. The name Indigo popped into my head and it felt completely right. The word 'moone' was added on to make the numerology of the letters add up to something powerful (oh, the numbers add up to 5, I don't remember now why I decided that was a powerful one, but in hindsight oh, gee, maybe, just maybe, because 5 is often associated with change? ya think?)

Where was I?

Right, Indigo.

So you can imagine my surprise when a few months later, when I was going through some old vision boards I had made years before (vision boards: envisioning the life you'd like, using images and words cut out from magazines and gluing it all down, giving life to your dreams... cool thing to try if you never have) and came across the word Indigo front and center on one of them.

Whoa, cool. LOVE that synchronicity shit.

There was my name, waiting for me to rediscover it. Goosebumps!

So Indigomoone was my name for circles for a few years. And Indigomoone has been my email address ever since then too. But that was it.

And yet...
during all this time, on and off, I would wonder what it would be like to be Indigo. Instead of Tracy. And usually, as soon as I'd have the thought, I'd retreat FAR away from the very idea.

No way.

Too scary.

Too powerful.

That's what I thought. That name? Indigo. That's like, some kick-ass cool chica wearing cowgirl boots who doesn't give a shit what anyone else things and blazes trails across the earth fearless and flying.

Ya. Right.

Like that'd be me?


But weird shit happens (I'm swearing a lot in this post, aren't I?).

And suddenly, a few weeks ago, the thought of changing my name didn't seem as scary. It didn't seem as foreign. It felt like a better fit. I actually was able to feel that name and not retreat from it.

But those feelings did not appear all happy skippy and ready to go forward. Oh no.

They were accompanied by a whole other army of thoughts like:

-how the hell are you gonna explain that one?
-"you want me to call you what?"
-are you kidding? you think your mom is gonna start calling you that?
-you are so not that image you have of that name, get OVER yourself
-it's, like, a color
-awfully woo woo aren't we?
-"okay, MADONNA, what-EVER"

Okay, so you get the idea.

So, for kicks, and to take baby steps, I just changed it on Facebook. I mean, come on, it's Facebook.

But it's been FUN!!!

And I'm kinda diggin' it.

Then I also had a non-Facebook moment when someone I know in person AND lives in my town that I am on FB with, sees me walk up to her at the farmers market and says, "it's Indigo!" and gives me a great big hug.

That was so COOL! (I love you Mary!)

It felt like, YES, that IS me. I am that image. I am that kick-ass chica.

Made me realize I may just have to explore this whole name change thing for real.


And so what this is REALLY about?

It's not about the name. It's not.

It's about how I feel about myself. It's about conquering old insecurities, about fears of being judged, about peeling away the layers and revealing my true self, shining my light, and not being embarrassed about a name, or who I am, or what I have to offer. Or about feeling silly.

It's about feeling power-full. As in, empowered.

And kickin ass.

I'm ready.

Let's DO this!

What scary thing can you do today? The scary thing that throws off the weights of self-doubt and fear?


I'm here cheering you on!!!

Let's DO this ~ together.