For the past 15 years or so I have been actively envisioning the life I want. Dreaming big, setting intentions, making vision boards, writing lists... Many of those visions have come to be. It amazes me to go back and look through my old collages and journals and see the beautiful fruition of what were once "mere" dreams.
Of course, many of the visions I had have not materialized. Some, I know, were not that important after all, or were dreams of who I was at the time, but would not quite fit who I am now. And so releasing those has been easy.
Other dreams? Still waiting.
But am I?
This year has started off differently than I had imagined. I am not in my usual dream-weaving, intention-filling, goal-achieving place. I have no list for the year. No solid vision. Only vague notions, and even those I'm not so sure of.
What I'm realizing, and this is scary, is that it's time to let everything go. All the old visions. ALL the old dreams. It's time for a fresh start. It's time to release all the things I think I want and make room for what my heart truly wants.
And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.
Wiping the slate clean.
There is something called a Burden Basket, courtesy of our friend Kokopelli. It's everything we willing carry with us through our life. Dreams and visions, responsibilities, worries, relationships, expectations, hopes, and on and on. It is completely up to us what goes into that basket. (For a more in-depth and beautiful explanation of this, read what Jesse Wolf Hardin has written about it.)
I feel like it's time to make note of every single thing I've ever put into that basket and then set it down. And walk away. Leaving it to the elements to disperse its contents to where they are needed most. Burn up, wash away, scatter to the wind, or compost it all into something more fertile.
What this will do is create the space for what truly matters to me to surface. I will clear out the noise of years of visioning and dreaming to see what my heart really wants to experience.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
Talk about feeling vulnerable and raw.
Of course I can feel my scared little brain saying, wait, you're not going to leave ANYTHING in there? Surely LOVE needs to be there. And community? And what about creative expression? Those most definitely need to stay.
And I say to my overactive and over-analyzing mind, "Don't worry, what I'm letting go of is how you, Mr. Brain, need to control what those things should look like." Instead, we're making room for Ms. Heart to speak up, to have her turn.
Deep down, given the chance to be heard? She will not lead us astray. She will take us places we could never have imagined!
And that my friends, is what it's all about. Making room for a fresh start. Totally open.
I have a feeling I am going to be VERY surprised. And VERY excited by what shows up.
(Remind of that when I'm going batty over here needing immediate results, won't you? Thanks!)
Here's to the journey ~ it's never dull!