Remember how I said I was going to step up my blogging experience?
My plan for the weekends was to post updates on this DREAM.
I wish this were an April Fool's joke.
We had an unplanned-for tax payment this year. A big one. Huge.
And so in one fell swoop. Swooooosh.
The sound of all of our savings being whisked off to other places.
It's not even like we can blame someone else. This was simply bad planning.
So some dreams that were on the drafting table have to be put on hold.
A road trip through the southwest to a wedding in Santa Fe.
Yep. That too.
As you can imagine I've gone through a full range of emotions. All over the place. But I still managed to find some moments of clarity and non-attachment.
Let me tell you, it's been a ride these past 24 hours.
I know that money is just a tool, energy, something that comes and goes... If I believe that this "release" of money means that no more will ever come flowing in again... that the chance for the studio and a family road trip are forever out of reach... well, it's very possible that that is exactly what I will get.
If instead, I have faith that more money flows into my life, that the studio will still be built, that abundance is part of my life, then I have a better chance of that happening.
Thoughts become things. Have you heard that before?
But it's a choice. And the easy choice? Wallow in self-pity and give up.
The choice that takes a little more effort? Believing. Faith. Trust.
Interestingly enough, that non-attachment I mentioned? It has let me entertain the thought that Spirit-God-The One-The Universal Flow has different ideas about what's possible for me.
Sometimes we don't get the things we want because something bigger and better is waiting in the wings. Occasionally, when we slow down and touch base with that inner voice, we actually get a peek of what that might be. But not always.
I'd say my intuition has gotten pretty refined at telling me when something isn't in alignment with my dreams. (Whether I pay attention to it or not is something entirely different.)
I'm still working on the part that confirms when I'm on the right path.
Did I have an inkling about the studio? In hind sight? I wonder... Santa Fe trip? That too. Interesting.
Hmmm... gives me plenty to think about. Or not.
Instead? I'm going to break out a canvas and some paint. I'll lose myself in the present moment. Because really? That's all we have.
But I'll also be exercising those Trust and Believe muscles. Oh yes I will.